he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
