Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
