you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My vagina just clenched in fear
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
