the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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