my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Farmville is her only friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
