I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize