you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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