YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
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nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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