Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just want to make out with him forever
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
