Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I need to calm my uterus...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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