Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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