ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
