Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
