her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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