you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
