she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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