Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
