wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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