Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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