I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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