I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
and you fell through a lawn chair
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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