lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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