We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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