I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
