I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
