he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
