Already got asked if we're dating
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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