On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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