Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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