She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
