Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
