dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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