Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
