i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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