Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
