OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
