i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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