i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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