I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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