piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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