I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My first STD was from a foam party
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize