theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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