Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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