Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
