Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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