I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
