I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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