We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
