I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
