I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
