Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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