My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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