We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
