hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize