Don't make out with my wife yet
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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