You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
