Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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