gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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