dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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