Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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