we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
