If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
