My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize