I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
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What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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