Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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